


Kyle's Boomin' Bike

by KPesh123



Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [13]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Writing, Beer, Best Friends, Bicycles, Binge Drinking, Car Chases, Chases, Childhood Friends, College, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Dark Comedy, Drinking, Excessive Drinking, Friendship, Good Writing, Heavy Drinking, Late Night Writing, Marijuana, Nature, Other, Party, Partying, Smoking, Summer, Summer Vacation, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Vodka, Water, Whiskey & Scotch, Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26046067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KPesh123/pseuds/KPesh123
Summary: Kyle and The Boys had found a new spot to enjoy their summer.  Only accessible by bikes, the boys used that to get to this spot.  All goes well until Kyle's bike gets stolen.  Kyle and The Boy's have to go on a wild goose chase in order to retrieve it.
Series: Kyle's Boomin' Adventures [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867981





	Kyle's Boomin' Bike

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off a day where me and the boys went biking. I lost a nut to the front tire of my bike and we spent the entire day searching for it. Please read the other stories of Kyle's Boomin' Adventures.

Kyle’s Boomin Bike

The boys had discovered a new swimming hole. Dorbrook Park in the neighboring town of Colts Neck was on a reservoir. The boys originally took their bikes to ride the track as well as explore the nature paths that were there. Little did they know the nature paths led right down to a woodsy waterfront on the Swimming River Reservoir. After taking a few pictures and marking the spots to get back there, the boys left the park and went to neighboring Thompson Park, only to find out that a nut on Kyle’s front tire went missing.

After a wild goose chase for the nut that failed, Kyle fixed his bike and the boys planned on going back to Dorbrook Park. The plan this time was to go in bathing suites and bring pool floaties with them. They were going to hang out in the reservoir where there were no people.

The boys got to the park around noon. Each person had a backpack with them and a bike, except for Malcolm and Gianni who had portable coolers on their backs. In the bags were pool floaties which had not been set up yet. The boys got on their bikes and rode the track until they reached the nature trail. While riding a pilot was doing tricks in an airplane since an airfield was right next to the park. After seeing a spectacle in the sky, the boys continued biking.

The boys reached the nature trail and rode down to the small beach on the water. The boys left their bikes in the woods by the water where no one would dare think to look. Once they got in the water, the boys had to set up the pool floaties. 

“Alright Malcolm, get to work.” Kyle instructed.

“The fuck you mean get to work?” Malcolm responded.

“Blow up the pool floaties.” 

“No fuck you.” 

“Malcolm we all know you love blowing things, especially big black cock.” 

“God dammit that was only one time.” 

Nevertheless after five minutes of arguing back and forth, Malcolm started to blow up the pool floaties. After one floatie Malcolm was about to pass out. Panting heavier than a horse after the Kentucky Derby, Malcolm fell in the water and passed out.

“Yo is he good?” Gianni asked.

“Yea he’s fine, just kick him into the reservoir and we’ll continue with the floaties.” Mark responded. “Ight lets get out the inflator.” 

Kyle pulled an inflator out of his bag and the boys got the floaties blown up within three minutes. Malcolm, who was out in the middle of the reservoir, woke up and realized his situation. Malcolm began splashing and flapping his arms around, frantically trying to get land bound. After a comedic spectacle, Malcolm was able to swim ashore. Malcolm was enraged.

“What the fuck?! Why the fuck did you guys leave me to drown?!” Malcolm yelled.

“Bro you were gone? No cap I didn’t even notice.” Jay commented.

“Yo I was playing with the birds.” Mark said.

“As was I.” Kyle commented

“Oh.” Malcolm responded.

Malcolm noticed the pool floaties set up being used by some of the boys in the water. Curious as to how they got the floaties up so quickly, he began to ask.

“How did you guys get the floaties up so fast?” Malcolm asked.

“Oh I brought an inflator.” Kyle responded. “I don’t know why you decided to blow the floaties.”

“What?! You made me pass out!!!” Malcolm yelled.

“That’s what you get for blowing us off last week you bean burrito bitch.” Mark responded.

“Oh you guys are assholes.” Malcolm responded.

The boys cracked open some beers and floated around in the water. With music blasting on the tiny beach, the boys enjoyed their time. Kyle thought he heard a noise come from the trees where the bikes were, but he assumed it was an animal scurrying around for food. A few hours were spent swimming and binge drinking in the reservoir, once the playlist stopped, the boys got out of the water and headed for their bikes. All of the bikes were there except for one, Kyle’s bike. 

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Kyle said angrily. “I swear to god whenever we ride bikes it always turns into fucking Murphy’s Law.” 

“It looks like we have to find it now.” Nick commented.

“We better, that shit costed five hundred bucks.” Kyle responded.

“Well let's look for clues to see if we can find the perp.” Gianni said. 

“Hey retards, did any of you think to look at the trail left behind from the bike?” Jon asked.

“Yea that’s a good place to start.” Mark commented.

The boys followed the tire mark left from the bike in the dirt. The boys walked up the hill until they reached the main track. Luckily enough, the bike was so muddy it left a trail of mud on the track. Kyle got on the back of Gianni’s bike and the boys rode the rest of the track, following the muddy trail left behind. The trail went the long way around the track eventually leading to the parking lot. Along the way the boys spotted something rather beneficial to their search. A roach from a smoked joint. Mark picked up the roach and smelled it. He then looked up at the boys.

“Boof.” Mark said coldly.

“Those fucking assholes struck again?!” Kyle yelled.

“Yep.” Mark replied.

“Quickly before it’s too late.” Gianni said. 

The boys continued the trail until they reached the parking lot. There they saw a trail lead up to a rusty Subaru which backed out of its spot and sped off. The Subaru had a Bernie as well as a Coexist sticker on the back, thus giving it away that it was one of the Boof Brigade. The boys quickly hopped into Mark's car and began following the Subaru.

Since the Subaru sped off so quickly, the boys had to catch up. Being five cars behind Mark was swerving left and right trying to make it in front. Alas the Subaru drove off into a side street, not to be seen by the boys again. The boys went back to Dorbrook where they tried to think of their next move. 

“We could call the cops.” Jon offered.

“Are you fucking crazy mon?!” Jay snapped. “They will kill me! They will lay their knee on my neck and shoot my unconscious body! Most likely they’d fuck it as well! Do you want me to die Jon?! Jesus!!” 

“Jeez sorry.” Jon replied.

“Wakanda forever!!!” Jay shouted, putting a fist in the air.

“You could buy a new bike.” Malcolm said.

“So I dropped five hundred dollars down the drain and I will drop probably five hundred more? Yea fuck that we’re finding mine.” Kyle responded. 

“Well what’s our next move?” Nick asked.

“I’m going on my social media to see if any of these retards posted something about it. They’d be retarded enough to do that.” Kyle said.

Kyle went on both his Instagram and Snapchat only to find more rage posts about George Floyd. Kyle put his phone away and sat down at a nearby bench. His next move was to call people who were still acquainted with the Boof Brigade but still talked to Kyle. First on the list was Nancy Drew.

“Hey boomer!” Nancy chirped excitedly.

‘Who the fuck stole my bike?” Kyle asked annoyed.

“What do you mean?” 

“Don’t play dumb with me you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Kyle, she is Nancy fucking Drew, she’s probably not playing dumb, she probably is just being dumb.” Mark added.

“Oh you right.” Kyle replied.

“You biking with your friends?” Nancy asked.

“Don’t get off topic.” 

“Aww that’s so cute.” 

“Alright you’ve been useless, goodbye.” 

“I miss you.”

Kyle hung up before Nancy could finish her last sentence. Kyle went down the list to see who he could call. Since Kyle didn’t have any friends at school and his roommate was probably on the floor of his shower crying like a bitch, Kyle called J.C.

“What’s up Kyle?” J.C. asked.

“Nevermind the shit snowflake who has my bike?” Kyle asked.

“Kyle I’ve been too busy going to Klan meetings to deal with a stolen bike.” 

“Wait, that's still a thing?” 

“Yup.” 

“Oh Jesus you grew a Hitler stash!” 

‘I’ve started taking summer classes.”

“Okay bye.” 

Most of Kyle’s peers had no life, since it was summer they decided to take online classes to further suck the cock of their beloved university. With both calls being useless, the boys got in their cars and drove to Malcolm’s house. While sitting on the couch, Kyle looked through Snapchat to find a story from one of the Boof Brigade. Kyle noticed something very familiar in the background of the picture.

“I fucking called it!!!” Kyle shouted.

“What? Spongebob being gay?” Jon asked.

“Yea that, but this fucking moron posted a picture with my bike in the background!! He gave the location, fucking Thompson Park!!” Kyle yelled.

“Bet let’s go.” Mark commented.

The boys got in separate cars and began to drive towards Thompson Park in a convoy. The boys entered Thompson Park and circled the driveway a few times until alas they saw the beat up Subaru. As soon as they arrived at the car, it backed up and drove out of the park. The boys sped up and followed the Subaru. Since it was a rural town in the middle of Central Jersey, nobody else was on the road. Five cars were following one Subaru. Eventually one by one the boys surrounded the Subaru and veered it off the road into a ditch. The boys parked and got out blunt objects such as bats and crowbars. The driver jumped out of the car and nevertheless it was one of the Boof Brigade. He noticed Kyle.

“Yo Kyle, what’s boopin.” The member asked.

“Shut the fuck up, where the fuck is my bike?!” Kyle yelled.

“Oh yea, ahaha, is it alright If I take it and sell it for boof? I know I haven’t said a word to you in months and me and my guys kinda blew you off but we need the money for da junko.” 

“Kyle, let me handle this pussy.” Mark said.

“No Mark, how about we all handle this together, as friends.” Jay commented.

“Yea I like that, all of us bonding over beating the shit out of this low life dreg on society.” Nick added.

“Full fucking send it lets gooo!!” Kyle shouted.

With that the Boof member began to run, the boys followed and quickly knocked him down. Each of the boys used their blunt objects to beat the Boof member far beyond recognition. The boys bonded with one another beating the shit out of the Boof member together, instead of Mark or Kyle doing it themselves. Kyle retrieved his bike and the boys grabbed the Boof member. Dazed and badly beaten, the boys threw him into the reservoir from earlier that day. The boys drove back to Malcolm’s house and celebrated the attack on the Boof brigade by partying as usual. They smoked real weed, not boof, and binge drank until they all passed out.

  
  


I hope you enjoyed my boomin bike, don’t steal my shit. 

  
  



End file.
